The Goth Challenge: Days 27, 28 & 29

God I can't wait to finish this crap already. I've decided to skip more unnecessary outfit challenges, because I have a series of posts planned for that. Anyhow...

Day 27: The worst thing you ever did to a newbie

This question sound cruel, however, I don't have a better answer than to tell you an ugly story. Well, not too ugly, but unpleasant for me...
I've noticed that I attract newbies on Facebook, which makes this very awkward each time they begin chatting with me. I cannot stand when I'm online and someone, especially someone when I don't know so well, starts talking to me. Anyway, there is this one girl from the states which kept [lately hasn't] messaging me about random crap. At first I was merciful and didn't say anything, although her very low language and typing skills really annoyed me. But I thought, hell, I should be nice to a person who doesn't mean harm and kind of tells me that he looks up to me... but then, she began sending messages about her feeling sorry for herself, about her thinking she was ugly etc, about her having a hard time to see she has under 20 subscribers in instagram... and that's when I snapped. No worries, I didn't burst out on her online, that would have been awful. I just ignored her. And I keep doing that ever since. Not so smart, but it would probably be the best I could do... I can't improve other young people's lives if they keep crying about such meaningless crap as not receiving enough attention online. Sorry, but that's the last thing I want to have in my life right now, and for ever...

Day 28: Do you consider yourself an eldergoth?

This is a tricky one, because it really depends what one sees as "eldergoth". Personally, an eldergoth for me is someone who actually witnessed and was part of the goth scene whether in the 80's or in the 90's. Or has been in the subculture when it has been in it's diapers. That's what eldergoth means to me. So no, I do not consider myself being one or people who are my age and a couple of years above who are super gothy.

Day 29: What do you think will happen to goth in the future?

Nice. Two things come up to me when I think about it: whether the subculture will eat itself, with the deathrock shit and old school soups being served rotten and cold in the same bowl, making the people who eat it believe it's fresh and new each time;
Or it will develop, and embrace other aspects from other subcultures, like hipster stuff, taking advantage of other music genres in order to grow and become something else, but still somehow will remain "goth".
It's really hard to tell, because I love both things- the old school 80's goth, the music, dressing like old times, but I also love the contemporary and innovative style, bands sounding like today but who are still being inspired by the old, yet bringing something new and fresh; nu goth styles and mixing between punk, hipster and high fashion in order to look like a dark mess walking mysteriously on the streets. I don't see this as false. Because even your favorite band will/ did evolve from one style to a completely different one, and maybe you didn't/ won't like that, but that's how the world works. If something would stay the same, it will die....


I think I am calling this challenge a day. It became such a pain in the ass I realized throughout it that I do not like the G word as before. In fact, I have trouble calling myself goth, unlike I did before. I hate how goth sounds, I hate the association it gives. If I'd have to label myself [and no, I do not see that as wrong as well, people have to have a meaning to life no matter in what shape or form] I would call my self a post punker. It speaks to me more than goth does.

As to challenges I didn't do, I can promise you posts as "blast from the past"  and "your face, god damn it -or- how to make up" coming soon!
Stay tuned!
Much love, my dark alternative friends!

N. Finsternis

The Goth Challenge: Days 12, 13, 14 & 15

Day 12: What's your gothic inspiration?

I already did a gothic inspiration back in my few first posts here, here it is.
I find this question really confusing, because I was [and currently] inspired by so many things.
When I just got into goth I was inspired by anime and gothic lolita, through the years it has been the immortal babybat favorite- romantic goth/ victorian.
For the last couple of years I have been inspired by Nu Goth, Deathrock, Punk, Oldschool Goth and Boho Shick. Other things affect my style such as Wicca, witchy Tumblrs and Grunge. I find it really had to put a finger on directly what's been "gothicly" inspiring me lately. DIY galore inspires me all the time and kind of makes me look at my style differently each time!

Day 13: What was your first band t-shirt?

I've mentioned this also before. Back in highschool when Boris and I discovered Einstuerzende Neubauten we were so dazzled by them, I asked Boris to make a diy shirt for me with their symbol. We had no option nor money to buy band t-shirts, nor were the t-shirts with our favorite bands sold anywhere. This was the result:

When I modeled for a friend. I am 19 here.

I wore this shirt so proudly until the paint wore off, and the shirt itself, which I've managed to get from a classmate who wanted to dispose it, became grey.

Day 14: What's your best and worst DIY disaster?

My worst was a long sleeves purple shirt that I cut in junior high. I cut a heart on the area where my nipple was, and one sleeve was torn in a Peter Pan-like way. It looked so bad and didn't match with anything.

My best would probably be my skirt/ garter pants I made with Boris' mother, shown in this post.

Along with my diy jacket filled with diy patches [shown here], and my new punk vest, shown here.

Day 15: Your favorite and most expensive item in your wardrobe.

See the picture above of my modeling days? I wore fake leather pants, which have costed a lot, 500 Israeli Shekels, about 141 US Dollars and 105 Euro!

My mother helped me buy them, and they were absolutely amazing for about 2 years, they were one of the "key" items for a better gothy wardrobe, and I've worn them until the leather began to crust, nowhere else but in the crotch area. So unfortunately I don't wear them anymore.

My current most expensive item would have to be my Demonias, which Boris has bought me as a gift for my 21st Birthday, I don't remember how much they were, he got it off Ebay.

On a side note, blog's headline was changed from crappy Greek-like English imitating letters, to Russian. I did this because a friend who speaks Greek told me that the letters weren't placed properly, and it turned out that it looked "Deus Ex Machina" only to me. So to avoid more stupidity I've decided to write the same headline with Russian mixed with English, that way at least I will know it's incorrectly spelled. ;)

Also, today I'm attending yet another concert, which I am very excited about! Belgrado, The Bellicose Minds and Substitute [not familiar with them] are going to perform and I am stoked on taking some pictures!! I was more excited to see Belgrado first, because I didn't know who The Bellicose Minds were, but then a friend sent me links to their songs and they sounded awesome! I've been also recommended to see them both live.

Have an amazing grey weekend everyone!

N. Finsternis

The Goth Challenge - Days 23, 24 & 25

Day 23: Your favorite artist or photographer?

A lovely question. I like certain artists, photographers especially. I have a few favorite photographers, like Hetsche Letche [HornyKitty] and Giorgina N. [Blekotakra], they have inspired me so much and every single photo by these amazing artist make me want to jump into their world and create the same atmosphere.
But my most favorite would have to be Irina Ionesco.
She's a bitch, is in trial with her daughter for years and has never learned photography. I absolutely adore everything she ever did, her pictures are fashion related as well as gothic. Whenever I browse her pictures I think "this is the kind of pictures I want to make". She really inspired me in so many ways. I do hate the pictures where her daughter Eva poses, I think they are horrible. Everything else I love to death. Also, there is a very good film that Eva Ionesco directed about her being photographed in the infamous erotic pictures as a child by her mother, it's called My Little Princess. Very recommended.
I happen to own a copy of a magazine called ZOO, where Irina Ionesco is interviewed, and some of her unpublished work is presented. I really am a huge fan.

Day 24: Name the best website for goths.

Only one? I shall do you a favor and name 3.

1. Wikipedia. Want to know the theory of Goth? Fucking read about it. There is no website that can explain so neutrally what goth is. I have such a bad experience with over the top dramatic "what is goth" websites, the worst of them were Russian or Ukranian [those people live in a fantasy, they have nicknames for each other in real life as if they were re-living the Vamipre Freaks experience. They also tell so much bullshit you start believing goth IS about cutting yourself and being depressed. Gives me the shivers every time I remember those websites]. There perhaps should be a question in this challenge to name the worst websites for goths, seriously. Just read about the genres, about the bands, about anything! Wikipedia is also great for discovering new kind of genres, reading about the history of each band, and it gives you an amazing overview. Very informative in general. 
2. Youtube. Want to hear awesome and super rare music? Want to see real live goths talk to you? Fucking see it and believe it. Youtube is direct, real, and an infinite source for, again, discovering new bands and genres. Oh the amazing nights spent alone discovering beauties like Neva, Kan Kan and Metro Decay, which were recommended to me. You can discover tons of channels, who happen to upload the music of those rare bands so you can enjoy them! In my babybat years I have happened to have such a channel, where have I uploaded some of Birthday Party, Cinema Strange and Corpus Delicit, as well as some funny doodles from high school and concerts I attended. Here is the channel, hope you'll find it entertaining! 
3. Torrent. I hate to break your little hearts over this one, but the music era has changed. There is nothing like finding the rarest and beloved music on a torrent website, downloading it for your heart to enjoy. No, I do not buy music. No, I do not think it's a bad thing to download. Even Boris, who makes his own music understand the value of downloading and the fact that the music industry is no longer the same as it was 20 years ago. In fact, the few CDs that I own were gifts or bought in order to "have the original" because I liked the CD so much I've actually decided to buy it. The rarest post punk out there - is in the torrent websites, waiting to be downloaded because no one will ever find the damn CD in any store in the world!!! I do not go against buying music, I appreciate people who buy vinyls and cds for the sake of the idea, it is really nice and a good thing to do. I just happen to enjoy the freedom of downloading, and the fact that if I have downloaded some music that I don't really like, no harm done, I shall erase it, without having the guilt after spending money on it. So yeah, there are so many clear advantages for downloading, and I do believe that artists today need to think of another way to make money, perhaps concerts or other things. There, I said it, now you know.

Day 25: Did you ever consider leaving the subculture?

Nope. Seriously, I haven't, because after embracing goth and becoming what I am, I became so happy with who I was and am today. I love developing into goth and goth grows with me, and I do want to be a goth parent one day. I think that goth is a huge part of me, and on top of all, it made me love who I am. Besides, when you grow in a country where "the subculture" is nothing but an image you see on pictures from the yearly Wave Gotik Treffen, you understand that "the subculture" is within you. I still feel the same after moving to Berlin. Something very personal that connects you to goth stays within you, no matter the place.

A lot has been going on in the humble life of yours truly. You're welcome to suggest ideas for posts.

N. Finsternis

The Goth Challenge ~ Days 20, 21, 22

I'm craving to finish this challenge already so I could move to another one I have been planning. It's a surprise :P

Day 20: If you could dye your hair any color what would it be?

Lilac or purple. Or green.


Day 21: What body mod do you have or have you considered?

I hate body mods. Seriously, don't like them face piercings, those horrid flesh tunnels and what not. I do have 4 holes on each ear, and I guess I like to see all those things on other people, but on me- never. I have considered a tattoo once or twice in my life, but it doesn't really matches my belief on things, and I do like to see tattoos on others more than I can imagine them on myself. Me having a tattoo would be twise as meaningless.


Day 22: If you could attend any goth event what would it be?

Wave Gothic Treffen, for the principle of it. From people I know that it's a fashion show and the lineup can be disappointing, plus the nearby Gothic Pogo which occurs in a club in the same time with the festival is much more worth it. But it's a childhood dream, after all...

Mera Luna, because I want to see a lot of electro bands. And it's also a dream of sort.

I've been wanting to attend the Amphi festival and Viona's Victorian Picnic when I was younger.

N. Finsternis

The Goth Challenge - Day 6

Day 6: Hand write your favorite lyrics and take a picture.

Fuck you! I won't hand write anything, my hand writing is ugly and unreadable. If only they were handing out p.h.ds in medicine based on handwriting...

 But I shall intrigue this question, by saying that I don't really have  particular lyrics  that I love.
I mean, I suppose I only have several lines that I would love from a song, but only very rarely the entire lyrics. The entire lyrics of a song can sometimes sound just nice to me without a special meaning. It is only rarely when I love all the words I hear and find meaning in them.

I guess my favorite lyrics would always be by Cocteau Twins, they have so much meaning, I understand even without reading it [get it? get it? :DDDD]

I know what I shall do, I will put here quotations or full lyrics with the link to the songs which lyrics I currently like best. It can be great if you could relate to them as well, tell me which ones you liked best :)
Here goes:

Kan Kan - Memories And Dreams - finding the lyrics to this song is impossible, I am writing what I heard:
" When the shadows ... cast a spell, it's a trick of the light I know so well. "
" This shadowplay belongs to yesterday."

Kan Kan - Blue Tango
"Take your partners for a tango
While we still have time to dance
Take your partners for a tango
You won't get a second chance

A puppy lying on an empty floor
The strings are broken on a blue guitar
A crazy smile strikes a familiar chord
A silent memory has its own reward

Take your partners for a tango 
While we still have time to dance

Goodbye Harlequin
This pantomime is over
(Take you partners for a tango)
This pantomime is over

A careless promise made beneath the moon
Decays with time into a hollow tune
Your laughter echoing beneath the stars
Still plays a love song on my blue guitar

Take your partners for a tango 
While we still have time to dance."

Opeth - April Ethereal
" The rain was waving goodbye, and when the night came
The forest folded its branches around me
Something passed by, and I went into a dream.
She- laughing and weeping and once. "

Opeth - Hope Leaves
" In the corner beside my window
There hangs a lonely photograph
There is no reason
I'd never notice
A memory that could hold me back

There is a wound that's always bleeding
There is a road I'm always walking
And I know you'll never return to this place

Gone through days without talking
There is a comfort in silence
So used to losing all ambition
Struggling to maintain what's left

Once undone, there is only smoke
Burning in my eyes to blind
To cover up what really happened
Force the darkness unto me "

Opeth - Closure
"... In the rays of the sun I am longing for the darkness..."

Stillste Stund - Alice [Spiegeltanz] - Mirrordance
"Komm tanz mit mir in die Spiegelwelt
Komm tanz mit mir bis der Vorhang fällt
Es gibt keine Schatten in einer Welt ohne Licht
Komm tanz mit mir bis der Spiegel bricht!"

- Translation - 

Come dance with me in the mirror world,

Come dance with me until the curtain falls

There are no shadows in a world without light,

Come dance with me till the mirror breaks.

Otto Dix - Раздетые - Undressed

Когда раздеты до костей, мы так похожи друг на друга
Мне всё равно, кто я, кто ты, мой лучший друг или подруга

- Translation - 

When stripped to the bone, we so resemble one another

It doesn't matter who am I, who are you, my best friend or girlfriend.

Sopor Aeternus - Something Wicked This Way Comes
Perhaps this is the saddest story, full of pain and hurt
Because of all the names and phrases of this mortal world
There is only one that I hate more than any other
And this most disgusting term is the one of mother.


That would be enough for this time.
Till the next challenge,

Talk about another song which lyrics I like...

N. Finsternis

The Goth Challenge ~ Day 5

Haven't done this in a while. The first to notice that I'm not doing the challenge chronologically gets a cookie!

Day 5: Is there a local goth band or group in your area?

How did you know? There are a lot actually, as to should I remind you one of the reasons we moved to Berlin... There are probably more goth bands from all over the world that come to try their luck in Berlin more than there are actually Berlin based bands, if you know what I mean. Although it may seem like there are tons of them, actual goth bands are pretty hard to find in Berlin [hipsters took over].The only survivors or band who are actually Berlin based and strictly goth which still make music are listed here.

Gruftschlampen

A band of 2 good friends, Brita and Kokel. They can be described as deathrock. I really like their music and their live concerts are a lot of fun. Too bad they don't perform that often. Make sure to check them out on facebook!

Tanzkomanndo Untergang

Unfortunately split only last month [!!] this band of another 2 good friends [I am not corrupting this fifth challenge I swear!] has probably had a huge impact on my experience in the subculture. Not only is the singer Marta one of my best friends, also the bass player Sergej is hilarious and taught us a lot about how things go in the scene here. Both make amazing Russian speaking company. Should I tell you it broke my heart to hear they've split? Should I tell you that I was honored to take pictures of their shows? I think my heart aches to this on a daily basis, but good friendships never die. And TKU are like one of the best highlights the goth scene in Berlin had seen in a very long time. Let's just say that this band will always be dear to me. Make sure to check them out on Facebook!

Photo is taken by me :P

Fun Fact: Our first ever hangout in Berlin was at a TKU concert, where we first met Brita and Kokel of Gruftschlampen, and Marta of TKU :) It was held in Kopi, a house project filled with punks and colorful walls. I will never forget that night.

The Wings Of Desire

Boris' post punk project! Reincarnated from Junkyard + The Wings Of Desire, Boris is now working on new songs and has decided that although he couldn't find people to make music with [what did I say about goth bands in Berlin in the beginning?] he will perform alone on stage despite everything. I am so excited about it, I can't wait to post here his new songs [and the awesome androgenous photoshoot we made for that occasion]! Meanwhile, I shall put here one of his old songs, please check him out of Facebook!

Picture taken by me :P

Fun Fact #2: Rumor has it that there're more Israeli bands in Berlin than in Israel. But don't take my word for it....

N. Finsternis

The Goth Challenge ~ Days 10 + 11

Day 10: What do you hate and love about the subculture?

This is a hard question, because I haven't experienced the subculture fully until I moved to Berlin.
I guess I can sum a few notes up regarding my experience mainly online.
What I hate:

• Elitism. I've noticed it's a very talked subject among goth youtubers since a while ago. I think that it's disgusting when people think you have rules for goth, and if you don't fit the stereotype you're not worthy. I think that it's very simple to get into the pit of elitism and hard to get out of it, because in order to get out of it, you need to, oh my- think outside the box! You won't want to do that spending so much years inside your little gothic principles, would you? That's exactly what I mean by disliking elitism.
• The rules. This may connect with Elitism, but the thought that you should fit the name really pisses me off. It links to self confidence obviously, for the ones that do not have it would prefer identifying themselves with the name believing that it hostages their personality and be satisfy with it. I think that you fully understand what goth means to you is when it fits you and you don't fit it. So when I say rules I mean that people are being conservative so much they decline everything new that comes into the subculture, like adaptations of different fashion styles or new kind of bands and so forth. It's like thinking there are only very specific things that identify goth and that's it. I believe that respecting the past 30 years you can't deny that goth has developed and SHOULD continue doing so, unless we all want to leave the subculture one day.
• Primitives and closed minded people. How it kills me to see goths that act nothing like intelligent human beings, or being rude or disrespectful to others, not to mention to other people in the subculture. Among all hideous human beings that we all do a great job hating why don't we at least act like the people we would like to see on the streets instead of the average narrow minded folk? It is so simple it's silly to talk about it, but people who act badly give the worst example of our subculture to others, and we try to avoid it as much as possible don't we? I also really dislike when goths don't read books and don't try to widen their horizons with different kinds of knowledge about the world and especially the environment, but maybe that's just me. If not, tell me please!

What I love about the subculture, aside everything:

• The gender-less issue. I just love it that you can be whatever it is that you are and still belong in the subculture enjoying all the fashion varieties and affection from other people. It is great that any kind of gender or sex preference in acceptable within the gothic subculture. It should be that way indeed. You can also play with it and not stick to one sexual orientation, I love that the subculture gives you freedom in that.
• The sexuality. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but you really do have the freedom to express yourself and your sexual desires within the subculture. I mean that it is perhaps easier to find people who are into BDSM or really extreme things, because people are so open about it in the subculture. It is also fun to combine it with your style of clothing, and I believe it is nice that nothing stays within close doors or being regarded as a taboo....

This is all the special things I can think of right now. I've tried to write the very outstanding thing about the subculture, among all the other things we love because they don't really differ from one goth to another.

Day 11: Is Goth a lifestyle for you?

I guess so. I mean how can you refer to it really? 

I guess when you live listening to goth music, dressing goth all the time putting artsy makeup on, having goth friends, trying to decorate your home in a dark way, visiting goth clubs or events, seeing goth bands live, backing cute little bat cookies and generally can't get your mind out of this whole thing you love then yes- it is a sort of lifestyle.

I love surrounding myself with the things I love, and when they all lead to the same category of ethical combination what else can it be?

I think it's great when one embraces all aspects of the subculture. I think the biggest challenge of the subculture is actually turning your lifestyle into a job and making money within the subculture surrounding yourself with it fully, and contributing to it of course. When someone manages to do that I think it's wonderful. It isn't a must obviously, as much as it isn't a must to make your kids goth. But that's a theme for a completely different post. ;)

Here's a sexy picture for you guys XD

N. Finsternis

The Goth Challenge Days 8 + 9

Day 8: What's your worst and best experience with none goths?

I think it is enough to mention how life was hard as a goth back in Israel to give you the closest feeling of my worst experience. Let me just say that in Israel it is hell being alternative or different in any way. Whether it is you're being beaten ans teased at elementary school for loving dogs, or being constantly bugged, laughed and being pointed at while you're simply walking on the street. I had so many bad experiences being goth among the Israeli people I can continue writing till tomorrow.

But my best experience surprised me as well.
I was working at a tech-support call service center for 2 years. I began working there in age 19 right after I left my parents' house and continued till I left Israel. There were a lot of employees there, and they were separated into teams. I belonged to the "Russian team" as we only answered calls in Russian, and frankly our team was the most consolidated and together than any other. Now, as a Russian person I never had any Russian friends except Boris, because most Israeli Russians tend to be the opposite of intelligent, and kind of feel themselves better than any other. So I never tried nor wanted to belong to a Russian speaking group. The only Russian friends I had spoke Hebrew all the time and barely knew Russian.
But in our small tech-support theme something different happened.
We were very different, each came from a completely different and weird background. You had people who already had kids, you had your Russian jocks who cursed the world and talked about soccer all the time, and you had desperate students who only worked there to maintain their life while studying, or people who fiercely studied for years and couldn't find a job and were stuck at tech support.
And you had the "gothy" me.
We had so much fun working together, every one accepted another, we didn't laugh at others in our team, maybe gossiped sometimes ^^ I found a friends with whom I met from time to time, who even got to go with me to a gothic party. So the experience was amazing, working such a shitty job as tech support, and even getting the chance to laugh about it and spill your troubles out to your coworkers.
It made me realize than I can be a part of something without demanding that the people around me looked the same as I or having the same mind set. Before leaving I told my [amazing] boss that if the job wouldn't have been so horrible, I would have gladly stayed there, because you don't get such good atmosphere from such different people in every job. She totally agreed with me.

Day 9: What genre of music do you dislike?

I think it would be obvious to mention that alternative people dislike most kinds of music.
It would be more explicit to say that I hat the Rap, Hip Hop, Pop, Dance and what not shit you get on MTV nowadays. I really do dislike this music like most alternative people.
Here's a few more than might spill some light, maybe...

I really HATE:
- Brit Rock or Post Punk revival such as the Kooks, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Killers and stuff the like. I really hate this kind of music, it bores me and I think it has repeated itself enough of times.
- "Gothic" Metal. Come on guys, Nightwish has done their job well and long ago, no need to worship bands like Within Temptation, Sirenia, and what not because those amazing opera singers and musicians waste their talents playing the cheesiest and overdone music there is.
- Drum'n Bass. Because it makes me feel so uncomfortable and bad. Gives me a headache.
- Rap Metal. Bands like Limp Bizkit and Korn. Yuck..... I really like Deftones however, they are really nice.

I tend to spill shit all over bands mostly than genres, I would write here a disclaimer begging your pardon on my rudeness, but I won't because fuck you, that's why!
It is completely understood when one would say the same opinion about goth music. It is overdone and kitschy. But hell, I like it so much....

+ Nebel Violet +

The Goth Challenge ~ Day 7

Day 7: Ten of your favorite Goth bands.

In not so random order:

1. Xmal Deutschland
2. Cocteau Twins
3. Cold in Berlin
4. Novocaine Mausoleum
5. Bauhaus
6. The Cure
7. Noisuf - X
8. Kan Kan
9. Metro Decay
10. Lebanon Hannover

Click on each band and you'll see my favorite song by them.
Funny that among this Trad ensemble there's my beloved hard electro that I never can get enough of. And the touchy New Wave.
I was always kind of proud of the fact that I love Xmal Deutschland more than I love Siouxsie and The Banshees. Has anyone experienced it but me? ;)

+ Nebel Violet +

The Goth Challenge ~ Day 3 & 4

Day 3: When did you come out of the Goth closet?

When I left my parents' house, when I was about 19. Before hand I was just me with no actual labeling, but I assume my mother suspected there was something that identified my alternative way of being myself.
I think some time before I moved to live with Boris I caught my mom searching for "what is Goth?" websites. I told her she was searching the wrong source...
It's hard for me to actually define where I came out, because it was never a big secret. My parents just noticed me wearing fishnets, ripped stockings, wearing lots of studs and chains. I never explained to my mother what this was about, thought I've told her that I am listening to Goth music and going to Goth clubs, but I never really had this goth talk with her explaining what is goth, simply because she wouldn't understand. However, she always encouraged me to dress the way I like and always complimented me on outfits and makeup, which I like that she is doing and appreciate it.

Day 4: Name a stereotype or cliche you can relate to.

Funny, but there's a lot.
I love bats, they are cute! I love everything with bats!
I love crosses including inverted ones. It's the most perfect symbols ever created, it always fits!
I wear only silver jewelry, I hate gold!
Sadly, but I get depressed a lot and tend to woe and pity myself constantly. It doesn't help me live, btw.

♥

The Goth Challenge ~ Day 2

Share photos and experiences from your baby bat days.

I hope this wouldn't be too boring, hence my baby bat years were really visually gothy only at very rare times. I mostly wore plain clothes, sometimes colorful, mostly I lacked style and tried to combine things that, well, define you as a young aspiring "almost' alternative.

 I am 14 [almost 15] here. This is like the most "alternative" outfit I managed to ware. I wore converse all the time, as well as my first ankh, and my hair is partially bleached because it had pink in it. I was listening to Visual K and System of a Down.

 For me, this is the first "gothy" picture I ever made. I was performing that day with my block flute at a renaissance festival near Jerusalem. Those were amazing times. My ankh was always with me ^^

 And yet another sort of alternative look. You can see the fading purple in my hair, and I recently turned 15!

My outfits were more inspired by anime back then. And I am freakishly tanned! And my eyes were too small for makeup!

Here is my first customized outfit. Here I am 15 and a half, already met Boris and his influence on me began to strike! I wore this "punk bunny" outfit for our "Jewish Halloween" which takes place in spring. I was very proud of it, wearing ripped stocking for the first time!!! This was also my first stocking shirt! I was listening to Emily Autumn and classic rock I guess.

My first mohawk! I am 16 I thik, Boris also had one. And I wore it with a tasteless hair clip because hair bands never hold my hair up! And this is the time when I began to wear safety pins as earrings :)

Second Jewish Halloween, I believe I'm 17. It was a fine DIY project, also because Boris made me a personal Einstuerzende Neubauten T shirt!!! I wore it all the time, and we've been listening to this band religiously!!!! I believe this was the time we found out about industrial music and Post Punk!

My first Opeth concert!!! I believe I am 16 or 17. One of the more gothy outfits might I say. The belt serves me till this day, it always looks different and can be rearranged.

I'm 18, and I'm proudly wearing my Ozzy Osborne glasses, which I bought for pennies and this type of glasses is my favourite ever since. This is my senior high school days, I was listening to trad goth bands such as Bauhaus [wow I was eating their music!] and Siouxsie and Copus Delicti. 

 This was my senior yearbook picture. I was already experimenting with makeup, and holding my beloved flute. Those pants were like my statement at the time, I bought them from H&M in Austria and I wore them till this day.

I'm still 18. My outfits become more... they become outfits, actually.

 My first makeup experiment. I am 19. I was very proud to have found an actual makeup style that would fit my horrible eye shape. I've gt myself a new ankh, and at the time I was experimenting with photography as well. My fringe is gone because this was also the time when I've forced to the army. Bad bad bad time in my life including Boris'.

Fun Fact: I didn't do my eyebrows until I was like 18! I just had no idea such thing existed until I found out about  shaping eyebrows of other girls in the army.

 I began to wear more accessories, but still my hair and face remained. I am soon to be an Israeli Army dropout,  thank Hell!

I'm almost 20 and it is makeup time! This outfit was so awesome, and I was wearing it at daylight. At the time Boris and I finally moved to live together, and I began to [forever] positively change.

This was taken a year ago! My first time coloring my hair completely from the roots. Eyebrows are soon to be shaved off. I've grown out that horrible thick fringe, and this is my first customized jacket! 

Boy, this shit was long!

I have to say making this was nicely nostalgic and not so much depressing as I thought it would be.

Thanks for reading this sentimental avalanche! 

The Goth Challenge ~ Day 1

Hello, first post for 2013!
And I've decided to do the Goth Challenge! After reading it in some gothy blogs I've decided to do it at last, looks fun and isn't it kind of a must for every goth blogger? I love the idea anyway.

After some thinking, it would be wise to attach a link to each challenge I did. Here you go:

So here are the challenges:
Day 1 – How did you come across the subculture?
Day 2 – Share photos and experiences from your Baby Bat days.
Day 3 – When did you come out the Goth closet? (If you didn't then simply discuss the topic)
Day 4 – Name a stereotype or cliche you can relate to.
Day 5 – Is there a local Goth band or group in your area?
Day 6 – Hand write your favourite lyric and take a picture.
Day 7 – Ten of your favourite goth bands.
Day 8 – What's your worst and best experience with non-Goths?
Day 9 – What genre of music do you dislike?
Day 10 – What do you hate and love about the subculture?
Day 11 – Is Goth a lifestyle for you?
Day 12 – What's your gothic inspiration?
Day 13 – What was your first band t-shirt?
Day 14 – What was your best and worst DIY disaster.
Day 15 – Your favourite or most expensive item in your wardrobe.
Day 16 – What's the most casual you've ever dressed?
Day 17 – Your favourite Goth brand.
Day 18 – Worst hair experience.
Day 19 – Share beauty advise and take a photo of your make up.
Day 20 – If you could dye your hair any colour what would it be?
Day 21 – What body mod do you have or have you considered?
Day 22 – If you could attend any Goth event what would it be?
Day 23 – Your favourite artist or photographer.
Day 24 – Name the best websites for Goths.
Day 25 – Did you ever consider leaving the subculture?
Day 26 – Show a photo for every year (or month if you're new) that you've being into Goth.
Day 27 – The worst thing you ever did to a newbie.
Day 28 – Do you consider yourself an eldergoth?
Day 29 – What do you think will happen to Goth in the future?
Day 30 – Make a list of blogs you regularly read and link to them.

•

Here's my day 1:
How did you come across the subculture?

I think this is one of those things that I've always knew existed.  I always knew anime existed and got heavily into it when I was 13. So with the subculture, when I began to listen to Visual Key and Metal, I began to find out those darky and angsty pictures on the internet, of slit wrists, beautiful gothic girls with their pale skin and beautiful clothes [which I immediately wanted!] posing next to abandoned places, picures of Metal bands who wore a lot of black with studded clothes... and then it hit me that I am in love what I see.
So I decided to do a research, what the hell is this thing that I am loving. I found out about a lot of "what is goth" websites in english and russian, and everyone seemed more idiotic than the other.
The first goth website I found was Gothic Nederland, there's a link  right there ---------->
I was reading so much I only understood what goth really was to me only when I was like 18. Until then I didn't wear any makeup because it didn't suit me at all, I wore more pink clothes than black clothes because I adored the color, and frankly I wasn't comfortable with myself at all, not to mention dolling myself up...

And when I was 15 I met Boris, and this is the part where I understood that Goth was about the music as well, not just clothes. With Boris we explored a lot of genres. First were classic rock bands from the 60's and 70's [Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, The Doors] and then we progressed through the years, so to speak, and began to listen to progressive rock and a bit punk, and then we discovered Post Punk!
Our lives changed, haha! And I guess since then we got stuck in the 80's XD
By the way, Boris is a huge fan of Nick Cave, and he kind of got us into goth whereas we weren't at all listening to this genre.
However the first official goth band I knew [thanks to Boris of course] were Lacrimosa, that I will forever respect. They got me into trad goth, they definitely defined goth to me more than any other band I then listened to. And with more music my style developed, and my interest in customizing outfits grew and  makeup on my face suddenly looked reasonable. And here I am today!

I look at this as a journey, really, to discovering who I am and what things I like and my first inspirations of this world :)