30 May 2015

Things that made me happy in May

Should I do a monthly favorites post? This is a great opportunity to be grateful for stuff, also because this is not a YouTube channel and I can actually write about all none-material things and bash consumerism. I am getting highly political these days and I kind of like it.

The reason for this post is because another Frankie Teardrop-like month is behind me. Every week is so overwhelming I am again very close to a burnout, but at least the time is filled with productive and happy things as well, so not all is bad, but is highly contributing to my lack of time.

So here is my gratitude for the following things which made time a bit better:

  • Mom coming to visit!
For the first time since the 2 years of us living in Berlin, my mother came to visit me!! I did see her with dad and my brother in September last year when we made a family trip to Uzbekistan, but with all the relatives around I had little opportunities to talk to her. My mom has always been my best friend and I´ve missed her terribly, missed our talks about life and I wanted to show her Berlin so badly, to show her why I love the city, what is Berlin for me.
She came only for a weekend but we have accomplished so much! We walked the city, went to a punk festival (she liked everything about it and photographed like crazy!), ate a lot and had very nice conversations about things we´ve never talked before. I could talk to her about polyamory, bisexuality, having children and so many other things. I am so happy and grateful for having such an amazing mom. 

  • Reading The Hobbit for the first time
The time has come for me to read The Lords Of The Rings, a long since set goal and I am ashamed for not reading it before (fantasy has never been my cup of tea so I have postponed it for the sake of more serious literature. I am kidding you realize). And what better start than The Hobbit?
I must say this is the most brittish book I have ever read. I read Dickens and even he wasn´t as brittish as this. Everything is so witty, coquettish and cute; the personalities of the characters, the way he describes things is deep and emotional but at the same time very minimal and lightheaded. Absolutely amazing, the little poems are a treat as well.

The book I took from the library is filled with these beautiful illustrations, aside from the map of that Tolkien land course.

  • Playing the bass
I will let you know on a secret- I have been practicing the bass since end of April, and it has been amazing! There are some stuff brewing, I cannot tell anything yet but it does help me enormously to get better, and that´s so exciting! I am leveling up basically every day (and wanting to play all day every day, which has been taking much of my free time, but like- yay!). Soon things will come, and I will devour them with great passions. I have been waiting to go back to music again after my baroque music days from high school, only this time it is waaay different.

  • Visiting a cacti convention in the Berlin Botanic Gardens
I used to collect cacti in Israel, and they are not sold in every flower shop here in Berlin, so I was excited to go to this convention filled with fuzzy phallic plants. There were all sorts of them there, a lot for sale too.

There was this one Czech seller who we saw sold Meskalitos! Boris and I thought these were like super prohibited trippy cacti that only the shamans knew of. Turns out that no, you can buy one for like 3 euro, which we did! And the nice seller even gave us one for free, since we have told him we want to pollinate them and eat the seeds in a true Carlos Castaneda fashion (this is what you get for reading books about explorers doing drugs in Mexico deserts when you are a teenager). 
We have 2 Lophophoras now, need to take care of them and be patient. 

  • Reading "Whipping Girl" by Julia Serano
One of the highlights of my month is reading this amazing book. This is one sharp take on the sexist views of our society written from the point of view of a transsexual woman (courtesy to Serano).
This book has made me rethink my life as a female born person, made me at last understand what feminism was all about, and made me rethink gender roles all over again (more than usually). Every fucking word in this book is set in stone, and I found Seranos perspectives and speculations so empowering and fascinating! 
This is basically feminism written in a respectable, scientific but very understandable fashion in a way it should have been done. A lot of the parts in the book were very close to my heart, like descriptions about finding yourself and staying true to who you really are, how one views other people´s identities, and basically realizing that gender is such a subjective thing. This is recommended to everyone, not just for people from the academia or with alternative gender expressions. This book calls for compassion and understanding more than anything, as well as realizing how cis-sexist our (western) culture really is, and what it is doing to us and the way we perceive our connection with other people under our noses.
I think the book has played a role in both mine and Boris´ life. He has began cross dressing a lot more frequently after reading it and getting into gender studies, and I have been embracing deep and so far slightly hidden things in me as well.

I have been into this band for a while now, because of their 60s meets post punk meets shoegaze meets Velvet Underground (duh) vibe. So I went to see them alone, and this was one of the best gigs I´ve ever been to. I felt like being in some kind of film- the atmosphere was mysterious, the venue was new to me, kind of like a half ruined small building, and even though Berlin is filled with those this one was particularly, um- ruined! The support act (Jawbones) were amazing as well, and don´t get me started on the slowest moshpit I´ve ever taken part at, it was like being a sea week in a sea of sweaty hypnotized people, with the musicians jumping off the stage and moshing with us while playing. It was beautiful.
Though sounding rather soft on the recording, it was quite heavy on stage!

Wow, I did have a very versatile and active month! What has made your month brighter?
I wish a wonderful weekend to you all!

Maria Finsternis


  1. Cool that you've read The Hobbit! I recommend Silmarillion and LOTR too :) Silmarillion is great because it focuses more on the elves and humans + how Middle earth was created by the gods called Valar. Also Silmarillion has so many celtic, norse and finish myths inspired stories in them, its delightful to read :)

    1. definitely will come to silmarilion, the saga starts with the hobbit anyway :)

  2. Great, I love it! Enjoy the weekend honey!

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    1. thanks! I checked your blog- it´s lovely, but I don´t know spanish (yet?), but lots of luck :)

  3. Ooh are you joining a band? The coolest people play bass :) a cactus convention seems like fun! It seems like a rough month for everyone in school. Nice that you had some highlights. Getting together a writing group at the park was probably my most recent highlight

    1. oh that sounds lovely, couldn´t find the time to write yet

  4. Oh cool, I used to play bass ages ago!

  5. I loved this post! Your mom sounds so cool and so does your future experiments with cacti. :D

  6. I think a monthly gratitude post is a great idea!
    I used to have a gratitude jar in which I put little notes almost every day, looking back at all the good stuff helps creating a very positive environment. And It seems you have many cherish-able memories that are worth writing down :)
    Also, the Hobbit is sooo good, I've always loved Tolkien's poems and I'm sure you'll enjoy reading the rest of his books.

    Take care of your baby cacti, they look splendid!

  7. Hobbit is a delightful book indeed. Initially it was meant as a bedtime story for Tolkien's children. LOTR is more adult, it gets too scary in some chapters, and it requires you to read it more than once to understand it. Same with Silmarillion, which as Marica said, contains many celtic and norse myths, and also elements from christian bible. There are university lessons and whole books written, explaining Tolkien's world.

    1. I thought his world got into the academia, it deserves it! The fellowship of the ring is just a beginning of another endless walking in the woods journey so far, i hope it will get more deep soon, I am already in the middle of the book.

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