Grunge-Goth photoshoot with Sheila

A while ago I modeled for my friend Sheila, who's about to launch her first online store. She picked out some friends to model, and I am happy to be of the lucky few to model the many vintage and second hand jems she has collected over the years. I was so excited with all the clothes!!!!

It has been many a year since I modeled last, and I enjoy it immensely. I had lots of fun picking out the outfits with Sheila that represented my own style (or dream style?) and it made modeling the clothes a lot more sincere to me.

I am also happy the pictures are not heavily edited like with most alternative photography. The aim was to give the clothes an urban vibe, besides - heavily edited pieces of clothing online are not exactly believable. I loved everything I wore!

Photography and styling by Sheila Calavera:

There were some less dramatic gothy moments too. I am happy the outfits and pictures are different. I can never stick to a certain style and I am definitely more goofy than elegant.

That shirt though!

This one has to be my favorite:

That shirt though #2!

It got me thinking: from the entire photoshoot, what makes certain looks my favorite? Of course poses and the way my body/face looked have influenced the way I looked at the pictures, but some shots depict the way I want to be seen and want others to see me. 

And I think - cool, this is me. Modeling has made me so happy; happy to see how much I've grown up.

Maria

A Spontaneous Alone-Trip to Hamburg

Never thought I'd use the word - but Wanderlust has made me book a bus ticket to Hamburg, which is only 3 hours away from Berlin. I've wanted to travel somewhere alone for a while, and heard some cool things about Hamburg from Boris, who played there with Totenwald. Who also was away on the weekend for the same reason (this time playing in Poland), so why sitting home alone? And I've finished an assignment for uni so I wanted to go have fun.

woah an outfit picture! #60sgoth 

Hamburg is a harbor city, which is famous for its trade and architecture, and also for its red light district (St. Puli / Reeperbahn). We're talking sailor working class atmosphere, and boy I could feel it the moment I stepped off the bus. It was also incredibly cold and rained most of the day. It didn't feel like summer at all!

Chile House. I have no idea what this is but it was pretty monumental.

the municipality building

The best part of the trip was taking a sightseeing harbor tour on a boat! We were lucky to get a very funny and entertaining tour guide, really "people of the past" kind of guy. I already walked in the harbor district but seeing all the beautiful architecture from the boat gave a different feeling to it.
I also learned so much about the city!!! Like the fact that 70% of the world's trade with China is going through Hamburg.

On my way to St. Pauli I came across a cemetery, and by a further inspection of the graves it turned out to be a Jewish cemetery! Sadly it was closed, Jewish cemeteries are open like half a day once a week. Too bad, it looked beautiful.

At that point 2 things happened: I was dead tired and as it was a saturday evening which means: drunk packs of people (mostly men) began prepping themselves before the German vs. Italy soccer game (god damn you soccerscheiß!). And by prepping I mean drinking on the streets and screaming at the top of their lungs for no reason (BEFORE the stupid game even started!?!?!). I felt quite unsafe.

I made the mistake of booking my bus back quite late so the last 2 hours I spent aimlessly wandering the streets with zero power in me only to come across a gay bar by mistake. I felt relieved since I felt actually safe there - it was half empty and cosy, plus the men there didn't mind me at all (except for the Twink bartender who was very friendly and nice). So I had a beer there before heading back to the bus station.

It was a nice trip overall. I would have loved to visit the parks but the weather was crazy and having my bus 2 hours early would have been nicer, but all in all I am happy I went. I would love to experience the nightlife there if I'd have the chance, yet with company and not by myself.

Have a lovely week everyone!

Maria

Last December party outfit + face

Not my new year´s outfit, but from last weekend, when I actually took the time to take some pictures. Lets finish this year by looking all pretty and trad.

I have also had my hair cut in the beginning of the month, I´ve missed teasing my hair and bangs are a must.

 A new makeup routine- smudged cut crease with gel eyeliner and bordeaux pencil and lips. I love how this makes my eyes look huge and requires minimal effort.

Boris had a fancy outfit that night as well, looking more feminine than ever. His mother made the shirt which goes well with everything we own.

And for once, the party we went to turned amazing. Now to celebrate the new year with good friends, champagne and food!

I wish everyone an amazing new year celebrations! And thanks for sticking around with my blog :)

Maria

Pride: face and outfit feat. Boris

Last saturday was our first time at Berlin pride. 2 years living here and we somehow did not have a chance to go until now. We were super excited and the parade was amazing, we had so much fun dancing around (for 5 hours, parade was huge!) and looking at all the beautiful people! The atmosphere was perfect.

Boris put on his crossdressing game and did his makeup, he was the prettiest of all the gender nonconforming people out there:

No, I do not have a good location for photos, but look at those legs!

Here is a better view of the dress. It is a very old dress of mine that I wore only once :P

Still trying to figure out if Boris looks like his mom when in makeup

I did not go crazy on my makeup, it is pretty much what I do to every party, only turquoise eyeshadow on the lower lid.

Here is a better picture of the hair. I have recently been trying out a new backcombing trick that a friend told me about.

 At some point we were in a hurry, so there was no time to talk an outfit picture of me. But there is an upper half picture:

I am very pleased with how my roots blend in with the uncertain color of my hair.

 This is indeed a transparent lace bra (best bra ever) and a cut out t shirt. Lower half were shots and teal tipped stockings, but my boobs have not graced the blog yet, so there you go.

I wish everyone a LGBT* week and a happy July!

N. Finsternis

80s Banshee Realness

Last Saturday we went to our favorite 80s party. This is yet another attempt to use our dorm hallway for an outfit location:

Does this setting work? This is an obvious rhetorical question....

I wore Boris´ fishnet shirt and my favorite high waist pants from H&M. I also took Boris´ red gypsy blouse but didn´t wear it in the club much since it was too warm.

As for the face, I am still sticking to this brown eye shadow for the sake of looking more natural. I am in love with this makeup, it fucking suits me and for once in my life I feel that the natural shape of my eyes which normally disappointed me to bits, actually looks badass and I couldn´t ask for different eyes. 

This is what you get suddenly in the middle of your life- boundless self love despite spending the last years trying to use cosmetics to change your natural face features. Lesson learned.

picture taken from mobile phone, excuse the difference in color

I would actually go as far with my newly learned lesson and write the following paragraph using Drag Queen jargon (soo excited that RuPaul´s new Drag Race season starts in March!!):

I am serving you old school goth meets "I look exactly like my mother" realness. I am channeling fierce contemporary post punk, my makeup is on point and I am fucking fabulous, baby! 

When people see me they go: "look at that banshee, bet she got her hair of the dog done right on fascination street!"

Better stop here, since I can communicate like this for hours with no one to appreciate my skills and discuss past Drag Race candidates. But all in good time, I guess.

Have a lovely week beautifuls!

N. Finsternis

I tried to take an outfit picture and failed

My daily as well as party outfits are not that exciting. Mainly because it is cold outside which makes wearing comfy clothes a priority, and because you can´t really wear ripped stockings when it´s 1 C. degrees outside.

This is pretty much how my going out outfits in winter look like, the big shapeless black cardigan excluded:

This black basic skirt from H&M serves every outfit. The crop top is from H&M as well (and I cannot say I recommend it, since the velvet is in opposite direction, and the top rolls up slightly when you move). My combat boots make for the day and evening cold. 

I wear thigh highs only in winter with either these thick striped stockings or my plain black ones. 

This is the best location I could find- out hallway. And it´s still incredibly distracting.

So much for updates, meanwhile uni and job searching continues. Take care!

Here is some dub to cheer me up

N. Finsternis

Night of the birthday look @ Minicave festival

On the 5th of October I had my 23rd birthday. I was "on the road" with The Wings Of Desire as they played a part in the Minicave festival which took place on the 4th of October in Münster.

The festival had 4 bands this time (with Metro Cult´s unfortunate cancel :( ): Urban Grey who came from Amsterdam (and will play with TWOD later this month in Berlin!), Monowelt who happen to be 2 of our best friends and Elvira & The Bats from France.
So I had the pleasure of performing, enjoying some great concerts and having a ton of food and alcohol back stage- and all this for free! Needless to say that this was quite a birthday celebration and I was so happy to have my best friends with me!
Boris and I had a blast with the little gothic pogo that was going on during Elvira´s show (she was the main act). I´ve never been to a gothic pogo before, it was quite amusing, though stirred the champagne in my belly XD

Here are my looks for my birthday night. I´ve deathrockened myself up for my performance with TWOD as well:

I wanted to backcomb my hair again but because it´s so long I braided the lower half. It actually comes out quite nicely, I think of doing it like this more often, since long hair is hard to backcomb. I am thinking of maybe having the upper layer cut a bit to have that mullet-backcomb-potential.

My "face of agony" is the best facial expression for selfies.

I wore my nude-deathrock outfit again because I wanted to be comfy while dancing. This is probably my favorite goth outfit, I always come back to it and am very pleased of its gothyness lol.

Here are a few shots of The Wings Of Desire´s performance, provided by DJ Cyberpagan at
Death-Rock.de:

Source

Source

We had a great time performing and kind of tired of traveling excessively, but it´s so rewarding and feels great! Have a great October time everyone!

N. Finsternis

Outfit Of The Night- castle vampire party!

This saturday we went to Tanz der Vampyre, a yearly party held in the castle Zitadelle. We went there last year and it was amazing, so we couldn´t resists going again!

We didn´t take pictures this time unfortunately, but the evening was a lot of fun with great music and a lot of socializing with friends as well as meeting new people.

I´ve wanted to get the nude-goth look again for Summer (and because it´s like 30 degrees every day here!!) so I just wore my shorts (which are leggings cut out very short), knee-highs. a bra and a fishnet top. I also had one of my favorite lace scarves tied to my waist (to not bare my ass too much) but you cannot see that in the picture too well.

Though I´d love to lazy around some more I have quite a lot to accomplish with some more University matters:
I have to write 2 papers and in the meantime find a place where I would to practical work next semester, starting from October. I am honestly terrified of that, mainly that my German skills won´t be enough, or I won´t find a proper place in time and would have to postpone a lot of seminars to another later on. This procedure involves some hardcore bureaucracy, and we all know how it´s loved in Germany...
But what I DO know is the direction I would like to go within the social work field (which is enormous, so that´s a good start). I sort of comfort myself in the languages I know, especially Russian since working with immigrants is what I am planning on specializing in, that is to say- do as much practical work in the field as possible and hopefully find a job later on. My strategy thinking sort of comforts me here as well, since as you all know, I would kill to stay in Germany ;)

So much for worries in the beginning of the week! 

N. Finsternis

The Magic Of Old Clothes Haul + DIY shorts

At last, after not getting the package from m dear mother, after not knowing where to call because of a misplaced note from the postman, after crying and being utterly depressed about it, after calling the German postal service and finally getting the ends right, I´ve received my package!!!

Maybe because I was anticipating this package so much that I´ve got so disappointed for not receiving it on time, and because I´ve never had trouble with packages in Germany before. You can ask Boris how sad I was. I should not be obsessed about material things so much, but oh well.

The reason I´ve wanted to have my old clothes to me, was because of these 3/4 pants:

Like sandals, 3/4 pants are a piece of clothing that belong to the childhood for me. I don´t take them seriously.

I´ve wanted to diy these into shorts, because my former shorts have been overworn and began to fall apart this winter. I´ve also wanted to save money of course, and wanted super high waist shorts!

So I´ve carefully measured them in order to not cut too high, and when I finished I realized I am very bad in cutting shorts in general....
What I´ve went through later on to restore the damage would be an insult to the sewing craft as a whole. Let´s just say that I have successfully made them "longer again":

The pants are stretchy, so the kind of hug my legs... that´s why this length was quite enough, as I would gladly made shorter shorts with non stretch denim. But I am really happy at how it turned out, they are comfortable and most importantly- high waist!

 Along with a black mirror that I´ve bought in Salem when I went to a summer camp in Boston after finishing highschool, old photo albums and date palm filled cookies, my mother sent me some old clothes that I´ve asked her for.
There beauties I´ve worn for a good couple of years, with the plead pink pants being my high school statement. I´ve been in love with those pants so so much, I only need to take them to the seamstress to make them a lot narrower (was chubbier in my teens).

The rest of the tank tops including the fishnet dress were all precious findings at completely normal stores scattered through Haifa´s best shopping neighborhood, Hadar (where we´ve also rented our first apartment with Boris). The velvet corset like tops is second hand.
I am really dying to wear these all in the streets, but since it´s not warm enough for tank tops I will wear them for clubs. I really cherish quite a lot of my old clothes, and I think that a good find can always find a special place in one´s heart.
I hope to maybe do an outfit of the day with one of these, I stopped doing OOTD posts because it was winter and you can´t actually dress interesting in winter (me at least)...

I hope to have a somewhat relaxing weekend, because I´ve had an insane week with not an hour to rest!! Working has also taken a lot of my energy. Going to a queer party this evening to shake the stress out.
Have a wonderful weened everyone!

N. Finsternis

A Fabulous Picture

Last weekend Boris and I visited one of the best alternative events in Berlin!
Unofficially that is, but it sure felt like one. In honor of the Berlin Fashion Week (aren´t fashion weeks like, at summer?) there was a queer/ alternative event going on, named Style! It! Takes!, featuring art, fashion and live performances!
The music was absolutely awesome, post punk at it´s best played by our favorite DJ ever, Steve Morell. The atmosphere was really nice there, thanks to the various kinds of people walking around looking damn good! Drag queens, high fashion somethings, hipsters, gawths... it felt so special!

As expected, there were prof. photographers around and guess who didn´t miss the chance to pose around:.

Photo taken by Atelier ´et Lux´

 Photo by House Of Rough Arts

Boy, I should have my outfits photographed like this every day! ;)

I just can´t get enough of those pictures of me and Boris, we´ve never had such successful shots together all thanks to the lovely and talented photographers!!

I´ve managed to balance the glamour by burning my winter coat against the oven that warmed the entire venue. There wasn´t any fire going on, yet the right side of the fabric is rugged and hard thanks to me being.... me.

Fun Fact: Boris´ blue jacket was actually his grandfather´s R.I.P, which was altered to Boris´ measurements by his mother a couple of years ago. Boris says that if his memory isn´t mistaken, his grandfather actually brought the jacket from a trip to Berlin he has had. Funny that it came back to the same city, now by his grandson :) several people have complimented Boris on it!

I was also happy to find out that the beautiful organizer of the event has a blog dedicated to it. You can check it out for more photos: Style! It! Takes! Blog.

Closing the event was the insane performance of Näd Mika. I want to see her again so much!!

The uncensored version of the vid was shown at the event! You can watch it on vimeo here!

N. Finsternis