31 March 2013

Venus in Furs

Story time:

Almost a month ago Boris and I were walking to the underground train station after our language course has ended, it was 20:15 and the streets weren't as crowded. On our was walking the streets we stumbled across 2 mannequin torsos just standing there in front of a closed shop. 
Surprised, I decided we should take one home, because it's a free mannequin torso how awesome can it be? Boris after hesitating agreed, and so we rode the underground train with our new lady-friend-sex slave.
The torso was standing in our room for quite a while until I had a good idea how to properly decorate it:


 I gave her some tattoos, and she's wearing one of my collars and my old [CLEAN] thongs.

And now she's serving us as a belt hanger

What is more funny is that the day after we found the mannequins on the street we found 2 more standing in front of the same shop. I have no idea what happened to that second one whom we didn't take. Maybe she got taken to some nice perverted hands?

+ Nebel Violet +

28 March 2013

Shoooooz + gothy shoe advice!

I realized I haven't shared this yet.
So last month I bought 2 pairs of shoes, because I was excited and greedy to have more shoes, there are absolutely no excuses to why I am obsessed with shoes so much, I just need to have more and more of them, and wear every pair so rarely that I would complain on how they still blister my feet after so much time had passed.
Logic is a quality I seldom lack...
However, this time [thank god] it was different.
I managed to find surprisingly enough some very special shoes.

First off were the creepers!

I was so happy to find these! They were 20 Euro at a completely normal shop called Deichman. I was so damn happy to find creepers without having the trouble of ordering them online! Funny that I had to buy size 38 which for me is crazy because I wear 39-40, but the other sizes were to big. They are really comfortable, yet I haven't had a chance to wear them a lot because it's still too cold, and only one layer of socks fit in them, just like with my wincklepickers.

The next pair of shoes were Deichman as well, and they were Buffallo like shoes!

I've been wanting a pair of Buffallos for a long time hence my love to Nu Goth and all those Japanese fashion pics on Tumblr. These amazing shoes were for 20 Euro as well, and I was so excited to find Buffallo fakes so quickly!!! It really made me happy, also because I've been wearing them none-stop because they are perfect for snow and fir multiple layers of socks! They also make every outfit look a bit different, a slight change from old school goth. They also look cyber-ish in some outfits which is nice. I really had much fun combining these with different looks. Should I post pictures of those outfits? I probably should...

There is something very pleasant in finding cheap fakes of shoes you were drooling on having for a long time. I used to find so many gothy shoes this way, in completely normal stores, and for a very low price. I think that it is even better to actually buy "gothic brand" shoes [or clothes, for that matter] because then you make these shoes your own, and I had lots of times people asking me where do I buy my shoes [or clothes lol], as if my shoes looked different from anybody else's.
That's why my message to you would be to search for "fakes" if you really want to get a certain shoe but the original is too expensive. It really has a nice feeling to it, because then you find an original piece, you make it your own, it's cheap enough to customize and it makes the shoe feel more personal ;)

Have an amazing Easter weekend or whatever. I don't celebrate jewish Easter nor Christian, so have fun with whatever it is that you'll be doing!

Absolutely amazing band and song.

+ Nebel Violet +

26 March 2013

Gothic Music- where NOT to begin!!!

This is an informative/ completely useless rant post I've been craving on doing for quite some time now.
The reason for me going to shit all over tons of classic gothic bands right now is simply because I want to clear a point that is mistaken to be right, but essentially it is ridiculous and overrated.
What the hell am I talking about?
Alright. So as most may know, in any gothic website/ article/ youtuber there is a section that tells you what gothic music is and what bands you should listen to if you want to explore the gothic subculture. Mostly these "sections" give you an overview of how gothic music started [which is mostly well written], however there are tons of "how to"'s on where to begin with gothic music. I personally came across a lot of videos from well known gothy youtubers in the community that proved these sort of tips just because they were asked to do it. It is mostly done by my favorite youtubers, such as Allison, Sebastian Columbine or Kill Natalie I believe.

Now, I think that to tell someone he should listen to Joy Division/ Siouxsie to get into gothic music is wrong. I think that generally pointing out the mothers and fathers of gothic rock saying that you should begin ONLY with them is a mistake.
Because I believe that is elitism, and if there's something I don't like in the goth community is elitism. The first time I heard Siouxsie and Joy Division was when I was like 15-16, I was all into Classic rock and Prog Rock, and when I heard Ian Curtis' boring voice, the lack of power and energy in every song it just made me mad. And I asked myself- how can this be the gothic music I was looking for? I literary disliked Joy Division for a long time until I began to understand how amazing their music is. I also wrote about Siouxsie here, because frankly I didn't like what she did when I first got into goth. I do like her now, but I must tell you that Xmal Deutschlad always had a bigger impact on me than her.

And then there's obviously the beloved Sisters of Mercy and Christian Death, and bands that sound completely the same you can't differ them from one another. I seriously dislike those two so much, again, because in my opinion these bands are completely boring and overrated. I don't think that if you're goth you it is a must to listen to these band every amount of time, for hell's sake it's not a medication, it is completely ok to dislike a massive amount of classic gothic rock bands, because you simply don't enjoy the music. A lot of people think it is weird and impossible, but it is, and the gothic subculture has so much more to offer.
One could also find the Batcave music ridiculous and perverted, for that matter.

Another very important thing I want to mention is that one should not listen to a specific genre of music nor specific bands in that genre just because he is told to do so. If you are first getting into goth, then you should follow what your heart tells you. This is the most important thing when wanting to get into goth, especially music. I assume that people don't just fall into the subculture out of nowhere- they've been into phases [or whatever] before, listened to a hell lot of music before. So let's just put it as an example- if one came into the subculture out of Metal music [and there are a hell lot, I'm one of them] I doubt he would enjoy listening to something as calm as The Cure, who for the most part expand more than of the "gothic music" category for like 80% of their music. Maybe he would enjoy listening to Industrial music, maybe he would enjoy listening to some cheesy but romantic Lacrimosa, which then would lead him to more classy bands.

Here's an experience of mine that I would like to share: when I was exploring the gothic subculture for the first time, I was sitting days online reading tons of websites, more than a half were rubbish. But then I cam across a really old and simple website called Gothic Nederland [link in the right column] which listen a lot of bands by every genre that gothic music has to offer. At that time I didn't check out even one of these bands, but I kept that long list in mind. And then something else happened- I was influenced from the people I saw on the internet. I was spending 90% of my time reading Israeli blogs, and I noticed that most of these people mentioned several bands that they listen to. Great, I thought, I shall try these bands to be as cool as the gothy bloggers who were older than me, and maybe will have a chance to get closer to them.
That's how I've decided to listen to Bauhaus, and I only chose to listen to them first because I liked the name. That's it, nobody even told me that they were so important and blah blah blah.
And how was it? It was amazing. I spent 2 years listening basically only to them. After that I came back to Gothic Bederland to see what other band were in the list, and that's how I've started listening to Sopor Aeternus, which is also freakishly weird in comparison to other "classical gothic bands".

What I want to say here [after so many paragraphs or rambling] is that you should follow your feelings when you want to explore gothic music. There are a few people who actually listen and enjoy Einstuerzende Neubauten, an amazing band one should be deaf in order to enjoy it [I looovee them]. There are tons of amazing bands out there, but it just happens to be you won't like nor understand them for the first time. Maybe it means that you'd have to go through a certain path on musical taste in order to fully feel and enjoy the traditional gothic music. Which is fine, that's how it's supposed to be. This music is so great, that I believe one should experience different styles before getting into it, before fully understanding it. Because let's face it- we can always find something new within the gothic music, even if it's a song you heard numerous amount of times. Which is why if one is making his first steps in the subculture, the music should take the most patience in evolving and revealing itself around him.

+ Nebel Violet +

20 March 2013

First time photographing other people- the experience

Last night I had caught some weird intoxication after drinking beer and eating snacks at home. I woke up with a horrible stomach ache and I vomited. I have been so tired today crushed by a strong headache. I hate being intoxicated, it tends to happen to me quite a lot. Therefore it had been really hard for to work on editing some photos and doing a research on something I've wanted for a long time now.

I have news: yesterday was my first ever photo shoot with other people. It was an Israeli cello player who has a trio here in Germany and she requested me to take "profile" pictures of them for the following concerts. She knew I wasn't professional so it wasn't payed, and to tell you the truth, I'm kind of glad it wasn't because it was so damn hard I wasn't quite happy of the way I was working.
However, this was indeed fun, and I finally understood how the other photographs who took pictures of me as a model worked. It is really hard to multitask everything at once [I am unable of multitasking, btw]: you have to set the camera properly, not to mention re-setting the contrast and light almost every 2 minutes [and it was only a semi prof. camera], telling the nice people not to look like they are visiting a funeral but to smile, to think about something fun, to sit, to stand, to hold the instrument in one way or another, to look at each other, to walk from one location to the other etc etc.
I now realize how freaking hard it is to do all those things, not to mention still smile and act natural, create a nice atmosphere and the like.
I was very confused and a bit embarrassed of myself, because in the middle of the photo shoot my battery suddenly died although I charged it in the morning of that day [clearly not enough...] so we had to search for batteries around the house, which was so stupid of me... also I was kind of disappointed of my camera, which is perfect for black and white shoots and really dark places, tends to loose the natural color of the location and add too much light. I edited everything in Picasa 3 as usual, it really helped to achieve the result that I wanted.

Another funny and frustrating thing for me was to make completely normal photos when I was used to make super gothy and dark creations for several years now. It is stupid, because this is why one shouldn't focus only on one style of photography to achieve a certain level, it's relevant to every subject in life, and it's very important. I hope I did a good normal job. Most people want themselves to look natural and nice in photographs rather than alternative and outgoing.

Here are some pics that I want to share, what do you think?

I am glad that in the photos you can sense they are really together as a group, and when they smile it looks really nice, like they are having a good time. It was really important for me to show. I really hope they liked it, I am glad I had a chance to work and gain experience with such nice people.

+ Nebel Violet +

17 March 2013

Your past and your journey.

Since we've moved to Berlin we've met so many interesting people from all over the world, and many of them came here for the same reason as us.
It is funny that for German people who live here, knowing you were born in country A, speak language B, moved to country C to speak language D only to move to country E is very strange.
It is often that I remember here that this is exactly what I have been through for all my life- moving around. I never lived in one land for too long to make it my homeland, I can't even tell what that means. I only lived for 15 years in Israel only to discover from almost the very beginning that I hate to live where my parents had brought me. I can't say it was a waste to live in Israel, because I only won by knowing another language that I like using, knowing myself and where I want to be, and for the best part- meeting my first love, and knowing that this would be the man I would spend my entire life with.
But I can't say I am not afraid that Germany won't serve me as a home more than as a stopping point. I really want to find a place where I would feel I can settle and know I can make a future in, but I know there would be a lot traveling ahead, and I am yet not expecting to find my "home" so easily. However, sometimes I feel sad for myself [luckily not as much as in the past] that I always have to move from one place to another and work hard to find a place like home. I think that among the other things in my life this is the most important one for me to do. I can sat I sometimes envy people who can live in one city for the rest of their lives having a patriotic and connected feeling with their country, without having the effort to find a special place for themselves. But I assume those people have problems of their own ;)
I think that what made strong the feeling of unfitting in my soul was all those migrations from one country to another when I was little. Not to mention that it was really hard for me to go to first class in Israel not only not knowing the language, but having no clue what school really was like, because I never attended kindergarten a lot hence I was sick for long periods when I was like 3-5 years old. I imagine that the school bullying that followed made everything worse, made me feel rejected and different. By the way, I didn't want to be different when I was a kid. I wanted to be just like everyone else in the class, without being bugged or called names. My mom always told me I was special and beautiful and made my hair pretty with ribbons and accessories, which would be stolen by other kids from the different schools I would attend each year, because in Israel we moved apartments frequently, and also because it was so uncool to wear huge accessories to your hair... Most kids don't want to be alternative or different, they ant to blend...
In addition to all this, I can also assume that when my brother was born, I was 8, and I realized that I will always live with him in the same room for the rest of my life. It was such a doomed feeling for me, I was angry at my parents more and more as I grew up for not having my private space, for never having it because they didn't have enough money to rent a bigger flat, and they never would have, nor they never understood how important it is for a growing up child to have his own room. When I was younger I literary saw this as the tragedy of my life and I hated everybody. This is something you could easily see as exaggerated feelings, but they only made me want one thing- get the hell out and far away from my parents' house. Something that I did achieve on my own by moving with Boris to an apartment when I was 19.
I won't get into details of my relationship with my family and the relationship of my mom and dad with one another, that is far too long and not as bad as I may portray it, nor my critique about them would be relevant here.

I am not trying to complain to you by writing it [I secretly am, but you don't mind I guess], I am only saying that by understanding the things that hurt you, you can know how you can repair the broken parts of your soul, or at least understand where all your negative feelings are coming from, and why are you acting or thinking this and that. For many many years I was feeling that everyone was against me, and I still kind of feel it in the relationship with my mother or other people. But it is very important to know your weaknesses and traumas, to know how to become a stronger person who will live in harmony with himself and the others. And more importantly- would be able to raise a family of his own in the future.

By the way, here's my new haircut.

Pardon the depressive note this post ends in, but there haven't been such thoughts in my life for some time now, and I was getting worried I was in denial or something or merely sweeping these memories and feelings under the rug. I had to nourish myself a bit by letting it out.
Maybe you also have feelings like those regarding home and family? I would love to hear about it and talk, to help you and me bring a smile on each other's face.
Have a good week everyone!

14 March 2013

The Grunge silliness continues!

Today I have been doing the same as yesterday- practicing on some more Tumblr inspired photos!
I have to admit that the look I have created isn't one of my favorite, however I like seeing it on others and I love to experiment. It was fun as the first time. I am pleased with how the colors turned out. It's lovely I actually begin to know my camera a bit better. With the correct color temperature and saturation, the way I edit the photos on Picasa later on looks completely different than before. I think I will have more fun with this grain effect later on.

These are also my last photos with the current hair. Tomorrow morning- Haircut! I am excited! Can't live with hair so plain as thin anymore.

The last one is my favorite.

It's not a bad thing when your apartment looks abandoned/ like shit. It's not my handwork by the way, but our flatmates'. I used Boris' shirt for this shoot as well as for the previous.

Good night everyone!

+ Nebel Violet +

13 March 2013

The Nu Goth/ Grunge bathroom photo shoot

Today I've decided that it has been a long time I'd taken some nice selfies. I am used to taking really artistic and hopefully high class photos which helps me to improve, of course, but one could never get tired of cliche bathroom pics that make you smile.
I was really inspired by Nu goth and soft Grunge, something that I really love spending my time with on really lazy days. I am happy how this makes me want to explore different "alternative" movements in mindset and fashion. I love how these pictures have the drugged suicidal feeling to them, and still carry a really pig fashion and thinspiration influence one can only interpret wrong.
I don't know why, but sometimes it's a very refreshing break from Trad Goth, only to come back to the same thing and to see it differently. Very recommended!

Also, this was my first bathroom shoot ever! I am so happy.

I must confess that making this was inspired by the song Plague by Crystal Castles. And although I don't like this band very much, this particular song makes me want to create in any way I can!

Generally I can say this was an experimental shoot, but I am very happy of the result!

You can see my new creepers I got the other day at a completely normal german store. I was so excited for my first ever creepers! Can't wait for it to get warmer so I could wear them [3 layers of socks won't fit].

I wan to ask you:
What do you feel about this kind of pictures? How do they make you feel? Do you think there's something I could do better?
I'll probably make some more tomorrow because I had too much fun today making this, and I'm kind of proud to have found a new way to use my camera in order to create a different atmosphere. And of course, my Picasa skills which help me all the time! I can teach this stupid program, seriously.

Have an amazing almost end of the week!

+ Nebel Violet +

9 March 2013

Deathrock concert- Gruftschlampen, hanging out with ravens!

Yesterday night out dear friends Brita and Kokel of the Gruftschlampen had their CD release concert + party.
They asked for Boris to play in several songs so it was a double fun.
We had a nice time preparing the place. We put spiderwebs everywhere and placed some ravens here and there.
It was a great evening. I had so much fun photographing everything, and my personal achievement was to talk easily than ever with other people in German, which was so exciting for me!
Fun Fact- this whole party consisted of elder goths, so to speak. Every one was like 40+ and only Boris and I were the only ones in our 20's. We were kind of proud of it, that we have the chance to talk to people who have been living goth since the 80's in one of the hot spots in Europe.

Here are a lot of pictures [as always] of us. It makes me smile to look at them. It makes me happy that despite our language difficulties we were still accepted bt other very nice people.

This is how the place looked like after we gothened it up!

Me and Marta of Danzkommando Untergang.

Now for some outfit + makeup pictures:

Funny that in Israel I had to wait for Winter to wear my punk jacket. Here I have to wait or Summer!

It was very interesting for me to do this kind of makeup, because I never use such graphical eyeliner on my eyes, it never goes well. This time it was challenging and I am very happy of the result!

How amusing it is that I look completely white in some pictures and super yellow in others. And I don't even have makeup on! Only concealer as always.
By the way, my facial skin is far from being perfect. I have load of little holes and tiny wrinkles, not to mention over 40 [although very light] "beauty spots". The camera happens to compliment me every time.

And now, for some videos!
Gruftschlampen + Boris performing Gummizelle. It was very cool, I just love how Kokel programs the drums, it sounds so industrial at times!

And this is just me fooling around.

I hope that everything is fine with all of you! I had a very nice time, the rest of the weekend will be resting and going to the flea market. I hate going out too much on one weekend, I am too afraid for my health XD
Have an amazing rest of the weekend!

+ Nebel Violet +

6 March 2013

From Winter to Spring

Yesterday we have received a visa for 2 years!!!!!
We can stay in Germany and in 2 years we must get into a university, and after that we will obviously stay for more years!!!
We were so happy yesterday, all the stress and waiting, waking up at 4 o'clock and coming to the embassy at 5 am to find there a line of 7 people already waiting. It was fun and exciting, and we didn't even have any problem getting the visa! No one asked us questions, they just took all the documents and after 10 minutes waiting sent us happily home!

I am so happy that our dream of living in Berlin has come true!!! I have waited for this for all my life!!!!
Here are some pictures from the past days, we found a park near our house and as we walked we watched how the Winter turns itself to Spring. You can see how the branches will soon grow flowers, the frozen pond will soon melt, and when the sun shines you want only to smile.
I never thought I will actually wait for Spring, that I will be happy that the sun and shining and not suffer from it.
To tell the truth- I never witnessed a change of season in my life, because they are sort of destroyed by the humid and heat in Israel. It feels so good, it feels right.

 The sky was so beautiful!!

 Frozen pond!

 There was even a book on the ice!

 Boris and me, emo-ing my new look.

 We then found this weird church!

 And a beautiful graveyard like I have never seen!

 And an appetizing food store!

+ Nebel Violet +