In no particular order (although they could all be number one):
Really, spare me the excuses. Fucking boring ass band, every song sounds the same, completely overrated, and worst of all - the low monotonic voice that pretty much settled the "gothic rock vocals standard".
Now, I do admit liking Body Electric, no party is complete without it, and Suzanne is nice too. But everything else??? I don´t get the First And Last album, you could make so much more of those acoustic guitars and vocal melodies, but where is the dynamic in the voice? Why there´s none?
The best thing that has happened to this band was Patricia Morrison who is a badass.
And I am not hating on this band because of Eldritch´s lousy personality, if only that would have been the reason to hate them I would have kept quiet, I swear...
Another ridiculously overrated band. Ok, Romeo´s Distress is a nice song, even though the entire album is completely bloating with Rozz´s shapeless whiny vocals. What´s with the singing?!?! Can´t you sing one tune and not whine about your miserable existence? There are plenty of good whining techniques out there, I am sure of it. And a lot more original lyrics to express yourself with.
And dear god, every song is loaded with an avalanche of guitars and rhythms and what not, so you cannot digest it properly. Why is there so much going on? Just chill, have some descent song structure for once.
And I know Rozz can sing, you can hear it in his solo career here and there. It´s just, ugh...
But I guess I respect this band since they´ve paved the way to deathrock as we know it (and don´t let me start trashing deathrock as we know it!).
Fields Of The Nephilim
So you´ve put flour on your clothes and cowboy hat...
Seriously this is one of these bands that I just... I can´t even begin. Every song sounds the same, rhythm is identical, style is revolting and why the hell does it sound like industrial metal sometimes? Or 90s rave, can´t decide... most melodies are cheesy anyways, even sounds like pop music sometimes. Bad pop music.
Type O Negative
Again, this is one of these bands that I just keep pulling my hair out trying to figure out why people like them. Ok, Peter Steel was apparently hot or something, and he was a good bassist? Correct me if I´m wrong...
But oh god, it´s just the epitome of boredom! It´s slow, and you would expect it to be interesting since it´s borderline metal but no - here come the typical low singing again. Why, oh god why...
Can´t even decide if it´s too much or too little in a song, but I can´t remember a single tune by them. ever.
Alien Sex Fiend
I guess this a band you either love or hate. As much as I love the Batcave era, Alien Sex Fiend are just too much. I mean, what the hell is going on in each song? There´s so much noise and frantic vocals, you can´t understand if it´s spooky or ridiculous (although this is what pretty much makes ASF what they are...).
I can bare with them I guess, because I can see how they have influenced whatever came later, and the Batcave was a great place for self expression, but I need a few days off after hearing one song.
My take home message for you: please, if you have a goth band, have all the fun there is, but please don´t sing low like you´re about to turn your throat inside out. Just this one little thing, and you are good to go with your ever-so-original music forward.
Do you have goth bands that you hate? Have I pissed you off with this post? You are welcome to write a similar one if you wish!