12 March 2017

Blast From the Past - Rediscovering My Old Youtube Channel

When I made my (first) Youtube channel I had one intention in mind - to illegally upload rare music that wasn't uploaded to Youtube before. I've used the website to discover new music (and still do), so I was very disappointed to not be able to find certain songs by my favorite artists. This needed to be changed.

At certain point Youtube changed it's policy and tied all the accounts to Google, which made me start using my current account and forget about the old one. But still the old one lives with thousands of views on the different songs I've uploaded, comments from all over the world and people thanking me for sharing the music. Even friends posting an occasional song here and there on Facebook, probably unaware that it was me who uploaded it ;)
I wouldn't upload any piece of music by any artist without their consent nowadays, but looking back and my most favorite music from when I was 17-20 makes me nostalgic and happy to have encapsulated this small fragment of my personality online.
If you haven't noticed, documenting myself is one of my favorite things to do.

So aside from a few embarrassing high school boredom moments, I've started the channel by sharing my fascination with Peter Hammil's music by uploading 2 of his songs from his "mid life crisis" album, Over. This number is in my opinion one of his best songs:

Uploaded in 2008, back when making a song-Youtube video involved making titles and credits....
Seriously though, this song is haunting! If you're planning on geting devorced, buried in a suit or committing suicide in the process, this one's for you.

Things got real when Boris and I discovered The Birthday Party, which made me want to upload some songs that have never seen the light of Youtube, like Zoo Music Girl and Ho-Ho. The latter was a more favorite song, but not having them online felt like a miss. I tried uploading Mutiy In Heaven, one of my favorite songs, but it always got put down due to copyright. And as an aspiring 17 year old longing to share this geniussness of post punk with the world, I felt very betrayed...

There were a few other numbers in between, like a part of Einstürzende Neubauten's song from their movie Halber Mensch (with a very wrong german-title attempt), which I've idolized at the time, and some songs by Russian & Ukranian musicians like Kolibri and Fleur.

Discovering Cinema Strange was totally a thing, and I began uploading a few missing songs. I was getting to know all these goth bands, it felt so great! I can still feel my excitement through these silly uploads; wanting to know more about the band, wanting to grasp every aspect of it!
One of my favorite Cinema Strage songs is actually a small instrumental from their Quatorze Examples album. Very eerie and atmospheric, not so over-the-top as they're otherwise are. I bet not many people know this song to begin with!

Do you know why I liked this so much? It reminded me of Opeth's accoustic pieces. The "Maria seal of approval".

Are you ready for the next atomic bomb of this blast from the past?! I'm not sure you are, because aside from me writing about it here and there, I have never actually shared any visual evidence of my army service.
This is perhaps one of the most "Israeli things" you can get. Soldier girls dancing in their uniform like it's no big deal. For most of you, the fact that we are actually soldier girls is already pretty unheard of. But it's Israel, baby, and as a very none-rebellious, obedient teenager - I was hoarded into the army system just like the rest of them.

Just a quick note here - the army was the worst time in my life, and instead of serving the normal 2 years for girls (!!!) I have been there 9 months before I said "fuck it", went to the army psychologist and bailed out on lying about mental problems, suicide and depression. Except that I wasn't lying. I was in a place/system where I hated everyone and everything, didn't believe in its common goal and felt like all my potential, my very true being and my determination in life has been taken away for something that served the most ridiculous purpose. Sure, I am smiling in that video, because I can adapt very well and was never one to sit in a corner and mop. But soon enough, every little sell in me would rage in despair, for I would want a different life, a different choice with a completely different goal in mind.
Since going to the army is so embedded in the Israeli politics/culture/etc, NOT doing it is still considered a huge no-go. You get judged, you are told it's a bad decision for your "future". And it's all bullshit.
And after 9 horrific months, 6 of which were spent without Boris since we broke up, things have changed. Gloriously. I have never rebelled at the age of 14, 15 or 17. I rebelled at 19.

My army experience definitely deserves a post of its own. Or few...

But for the time being, we were dancing the stupid polka song because we were waiting half an hour to get the permission to go home for the weekend. And it was fun!

I am first from the left.
I spent only the first 3 weeks in a classic military camp through my basic training period. After that my service looked nothing like it, I went home every day after teaching a class at grade school. Many soldiers have it way worse in the Israeli army; people stay for months in the base; people actually fight and see their comrades getting killed. My service and "struggles" are considerably humble in comparison, but hey, it's my life and my own perspective on it...

Things began to get even gothier on my channel when I started posting some Corpus Delicti. I was somewhere around 20. I still love listening to that band no matter how cheesy they are.
There were other bands like Neva that I uploaded, which at the time I though I was the only person in Israel even being aware of this band. What growing up in the periphery of the world does to your feeling of self importance :)

Another notable mention from my channel would have to be Boris' post punk band from that time, Vivid Noir. They had a few gigs and even recorded an EP, but unfortunately broke up shortly after. Some recorded songs can still be found on youtube, uploaded by their synth player.
I looked up to every one of them. I glanced at their singer in awe for being so badass. I was definitely the biased groupie, no less. I was excited something like this has even happened in a relatively "sceneless" country like Israel, at least when you talk post punk...
Luckily, things have changed a bit since 2011 and there are new bands on the rise. Those were fun times though...

I have continued to document other shit on my current channel. All those old videos of me awkwardly talking to the camera... Since I enjoy browsing my previous channel so much, I know I will never delete them :)



  1. Can't imagine having mandatory military service. Good for you for getting out. I have a few weird YouTube videos from past accounts... Videos of my snails and a tarot card reading...Random! Both of them about 5minutes worth of effort. Good for making actual videos. I liked your language one!

    1. Yep, those were the days.
      I wish I had the time to make more videos, maybe a few artistic ones. I should check out some mobile apps since I hardly spend time at home anyway and have my phone with me. Who knows, maybe something can come out of it.