My first ever creative video

I wanted to make creative videos [specifically music videos] for many years, but never knew how to approach it, from where to begin and how to edit everything that it would look the way I want it.
Practically every song I listen to plays inside my head as a music video or a dance performance. If there are people who like not to imagine anything while listening to their favorite music, or to dance perhaps, then I would be the person who dreams to make music videos and touching or heartbreaking scene to my most loved tunes.

And I made a fan video at last, with the help of dear Boris of course :)
It was a lot of fun making this, tricky but interesting getting into details. I had all scenes planned in my head, some I sketched before filming to know how the settings can look like.
The biggest problem was to find a normal video editing software that would not either stuck my entire computer, make bugs in the finished video file or mess everything up. At the end I worked with Adobe Premiere Elements, which wasn't perfect at all and some takes get stuck in the beginning, but I couldn't fix it. And I saved the file in Windows Movie Maker, because I can't call myself professionally amateur for nothing.
I can also tell that my self gained experience and knowledge in photography helped a whole lot to how a scene should [or could] look like, what angle can be interesting and how to use the space that I have in my frame to benefit the scene. The only problem was that I didn't have a camera stand, so some scenes that were supposed to look still and not shaky [and there are some shaky scenes on purpose] look a bit messed up. But here's a conclusion for next time I guess.

Overall I believe that for a first in a lifetime directed video it turned out fine.
I have decided to take Metro Decay, one of my favorite Post Punk bands ever for a start. I wanted to take the song Keimillia which is my favorite, but decided to save it for later when I'll have more experience. So I took the song Ebenoz from the same album instead.

Fun Fact: one of the reasons for me taking Metro Decay is that first of all, the band doesn't exist anymore so I won't be afraid of copyright vengeance, and second of all, I adore this band so much [and the previously mentioned song Keimillia especially] and I try to show them to my friends or new people that I know and tell them how amazing they are. But no one appreciates this bands and worships it as much as I do ^^''

Please go to my youtube channel and watch it there in high resolution, instead of the tiny window here, it's not worth it :)
If you have time feel free to comment, express your opinion and critique! It would help me a lot!

Thanks ahead for watching!

N. Finsternis

Animal Cruelty Unawareness In The Gothic Subculture

A conversation with one really known youtuber was the last strike for me to make this post. I was so moved by what she said to me, that it made me look at the subculture and specifically the people in it in a different way.

Animal cruelty. Sure cool whatever. I won't post any pictures here because that's not the main issue in this post. Well it is, but what had moved me was something else. I am so frustrated I'll just write what my heart tells me.

I kills me to see goths who talk in youtube or blogs about products that are being tested on animals and praise them, saying that "you can't live without them" etc etc.
It kills me to see the unawareness of goths to this subject. Sure you don't have to be vegan to be goth, you don't have to buy ONLY second hand to be goth and you don't even have to wear makeup to be goth [breathtaking, I know]. But the least you can do is not support the simplest thing, to waive from the simplest thing.
Why is it so simple? Because it's way too hard to be vegan for real and enjoy it, knowing that you're not forcing yourself out of the cheese and milk and doing it with all your heart. It's true, not all people are up to that. It is super hard to find amazing clothes in second hand stores that will match each person's style. It is hard to completely detach yourself from the mass production that our world has become, to refuse to buy from brands or companies we're too used  buying from.
But buying makeup that hasn't been tested on animals is easy. Why? Because there are TONS of makeup brands, and there's so much to chose from! You can easily find the exact same product in a different animal friendly company, and it will be cheaper mostly.
It literary destroys my view on the subculture when I see goths wearing fur or real leather or not giving a damn about the animal cruelty subject when it comes to makeup.
Goths wear makeup all the time, in fact the consumerism of some of the goths is quite frightening, but I can't blame anyone for loving makeup or clothes, hell I'm no exception.
But please, you'll do such a huge favor to the world if you won't buy from companies such as L'oreal, Schwarzkopf or Maybelene. People buy from these companies just because of the commercials that make us want it right here and right now. I used to by cosmetics from none friendly companies, and after being aware and buying from different companies, I really didn't see the difference in the product! They are all the same, and even professional makeup brands such as MAC have a respectful alternative.

I hate this ignorance so much!! Especially when we're talking about influential people that post youtube videos or run blogs that are popular worldwide. Those people who lecture about specific products don't know how helpful they are, but they're also not aware that they can make a change.
Other goths or babybats who follow these people see them as role models, and in a way want to be like them. When these people will be aware of animal cruelty products and would SPEAK ABOUT IT, it will change the perspective to the subject in so many little gothy heads of others...

And not only that, but anyone who is alternative and uses tons of makeup can do such a huge favor to all those poor rabbits and cats and monkeys and what not! Jesus just to think that the super cool dark purple lipstick that you so love to apply to any dark photoshoot or video that you make has been created through the death of hundreds of little furry creatures makes me sick! How can you use this with a calm heart?

If there's an alternative to animal cruelty products, why on earth not using it?
I mean sure, unlike medicine which is unfortunately sometimes is used on animals [which is unnecessary at all, but that's not the subject in this post] you have no choice sometimes but to take it, but for something as makeup? Come on you won't die if you'll not buy MAC or support them ever again just because the black eyeshadow you're using is so perf.

It really frustrates me to see goths not giving a single fuck what they consume. In my opinion that's one of the things that make you alternative, if not confirming with the standards, with what everyone thinks is ok. And currently, millions of people, be that costumers or workers of beauty companies, are totally fine with the fact that in order to make a fabulous mascara or a luxurious perfume, thousands of guinea pigs should suffer before it gets touched by the assface of the humble human being.
It disgusts me so much. If you really think you're alternative, I hope this post made sense to you.

It is very sad when people and especially goths don't pay attention to this or ignore the importance of this subject. Specifically mentioning goths over the internet who have something to say.
Thank you for the attention. If someone is equally dissappointed from the subculture in this matter please let me know.

-

Disclaimer:

I wrote this post when I was really frustrated and didn't touch some matters when it comes to consuming animal unfriendly products:

- If you don't have any alternative in your area or can't afford animal friendly products that doesn't make you cruel or unaware. I've mentioned in my "From Black to Blonde" post that I couldn't find an animal friendly hair dye in any drug store so I used Schwarzkopf. 

- The post was centered around people who are particularly Goths and not "normal" or "mainstream" people because in my opinion it can be a great example when alternative people would support animal rights, as much as for alternative people it is important to break all the stereotypes that are being pointed at them by the "normal" people. There are obviously enough mainstream folk that doesn't give a damn, but if one hopes for a change in our society doubly it would come from them. Also relying on the fact that most alternative people see themselves "better" or "different" than the average folk.

- 

N. Finsternis

The Lucia Lip performance ~ Electro Pop Extravaganza!!

Yesterday I attended a very interesting performance. There were 3 live act taking place at Supersonic bar, which is a place Boris and I sometimes like to visit due to the 60's atmosphere and the amazing Borzoi dog Утеха that resides there [like 90% I come because of her...].

So anyway, the first to start the evening was the lovely Lucia Lip, a french girl who came to Berlin 3 years ago, and plays a somewhat weird mixture of pop, electro with a punk attitude!
I'm normally not interested in this kind of music, but Lucia really got me into her music. Her voice is absolutely amazing, as she sings from opera-like high pitches to horrid screams that fill the hall. I really loved the instrumental part that was played as a background, which she made herself!

If you're looking for something out of the ordinary go check her out! The recorded pieces sound as great as live!!
It was great taking pictures, though quite a nightmare capturing Lucia on camera, because she danced and walked around ;)

And then after Lucia Lip something else happened. There were 2 more live acts left:

The Unkindness Of Ravens and Mona Mur.

What can I tell you about them? Unfortunately not much of the positive, hence I really didn't enjoy their music for one bit. I ever erased all the photo I took while they performed, because they didn't inspire me at all.

That's the bitchy part about me when I go to concerts. I looove taking pictures of bands that inspire me, when they play something I like. When their music isn't to my taste I don't give a fuck. I am [un]fortunately very subjective when it comes to this matter.

The Unkindness Of Ravens were fine, really, if you don't count the fact that all of their songs sounded the same and I was begging for it to be over [half of the crowd also escaped and stood outside the bar].

And Mona Mur... well, don't let me start on how people in their 40-ies look like after they are ass drunk trying to pull some cabaret-theatrical act. That was just sad a tiring.

I believe that I really love taking pictures of bands, but if I don't like the music, I don't like anything! 

I am not ashamed to say my opinion out loud about it. The truth always hurts...

So I was happy nonetheless to get a chance to see how Lucia Lip was so unique in comparison to the other musicians I saw yesterday :)

N. Finsternis

From Black to Blonde - Second Coat!

I am having a lazy time doing posts lately. It's been so hot I find myself sitting at home all day fearing to come out.
So I asked Boris to color my hair blonde the second time to see what happens. The color has faded out quite well, leaving me with semi brown-ginger hair, so I was eager to see what will happen this time.

In order to compare, I shall recommend you checking out the first From Black to Blonde post.

So this is how my hair looked like:

Makeup looks quite well. Thick black eyebrows do me good.

After:

Excuse the minimalistic makeup and no straight hair. It was very hot today...

Dark brown hair turned into orange, the roots picked up the color surprisingly well. 

Unfortunately we didn't have enough of color for the back, so the lowest layer remained dark brown. We'll have to color it again, but not too soon.

So the conclusions of the second coat would be:

• The color didn't burn my skin at all unlike the first time. So instead of worrying I'll fry my scalp I was like "burn hair, burn!".
• After the hair was washed and dried the ends were especially dry just like the first time. I put special hair cream on them with tons of Moroccan oil. On the second day I could tell the difference of how my ends felt.
• I didn't have a chance to straighten the hair yet, because I am almost not going out, but when I'll do I'll tell you how the hair felt.
• Must I add that I colored the second coat approx. after one month had passed and my roots were visible. You can color the second coat like a week after the first one, just take care of your hair properly. During this month my hair looked and felt ok, it wasn't dry not did it break. I used the hair cream once a week and the Moroccan oil every 3 days or so.

I used the same color dye by Schwartzkopf that I used the first time.

If you have any alternative hair color which doesn't test on animals I highly recommend using it instead :(

I feel that lately I have been bombing the blog only with pictures, and I frankly don't see that a good replacement for verbal context. I hope I'll manage to write my thoughts and feeling here more often. 

My favorite song the past days.

N. Finsternis

Quick Outfit, News & Fact Post + ASK ME SHIT!

It's finally weekend!!! This week was so exhausting but everything I did during it eventually [like everything else in this universe] payed off.

The latest news are as amazingly awesome as they are astoundingly terrifying.
I shall begin with the good news first:

• We have finally found a new place to live in!!! After so many helpless and desperate apartment searching [and mostly failed to accept us as a couple living in one room with other flat mates] we have finally signed a contract for 7 months with a sort of company who runs 2 apartment sharing flats [WG in German] who had absolutely no problem if we were a couple or not. We feel really great about it and will be moving there at the end of the month.

And the bad news:

• The newly found flat followed with an amazing discovery one evening the other day. Boris and I were sitting calmly in our room when suddenly we heard a scratchy sound coming from the part where the wall meets the ceiling. After asking out flat mate about it he had said he also heard the sound, and turns out- we have MICE in our walls and ceiling!! Creeping and building their headquarters searching for food. I was shocked at first, didn't know if I should laugh or cry. I love mice and miss our beloved sphinx rat Misch whom we left in Israel. But many mice, crawling in numerous quantities inside our house is not fun at all!!! It's amazing how there were troubles from the very first day we got to our current room, and they continued till the very last day. I still considering the possibility moving out a bit earlier.

So that's that. I will go to sleep now to get my strength together after this tiring week and go to a party later tonight!

 The magic power of a concealer to hide the purple-red circles that I received at birth under my eyes...

I promise to post a picture one day of how this actually looks so you can see the difference!

Jacket - customized

Mesh shirt - random store + costumized with studs from an old belt

Tights - random store

Shoes - Deichman

Neckless - belonged to Boris' mom once

One last thing:

Hence my cravings to feel needed in this world, I have added an "ask me" button at the right column. This links to my ask.fm account. So now you can ask me shits. Questions and answers will be posted here for the interest of all. 

N. Finsternis

Deathrock Whore

Party at last!!!!
I had the busiest week, preparing for my huge language exam that I'm having on Tuesday, searching helplessly for apartments and meeting up with our friend Avichai who came to visit from Israel.

When the week was already over we finally went to the dark electro party @ the Kit Kat club.
Now, the Kit Kat is not your normal club. Basically it's a sex club, where mostly vey naughty, fetish and perverted parties take place. The party we went to, which is a line of parties called Dark Friday that we had a chance to visit a few months ago, is actually a normal electro party, with no sex whatsoever.
However, that doesn't delete the chance to come there butt ass naked, see people making out, some old guys showing off their penis, and other weird people that are actually amusing to look at.
Don't let the sex scare you. The place itself is astoundingly high class, well kept and if the atmosphere doesn't get to you, you have a problem. It's a pretty expensive club in comparison to what we used to, but it's really worth it. Because even if you don't like the music much, you can always have fun observing the crowd. Or as me and Boris do, make fun of everybody [yet not in an ugly way, we just like to see everybody fooling around doing the shit they want half naked, and it makes us happy to see that they can do so, and it really makes us joyful and silly].

This is what I w[h]ore:

 You get a picture of my crotch as well.

The magic of basic makeup! I didn't contour my lower lid at all, love how it makes my eyes bigger!

Eyebrows are purple. but it's barely noticeable.

Corset: NOX from Tel Aviv

Spike choker and Over-the-knees: random store back in Israel.

Boots: Demonia

Belt: second hand

Fun Fact: I never wear a bra with this corset. I would be always wearing a sports bra or this top that 12 year old girls wear. The reason is- the corset is under-bust, and it's so tight it pushed the bra into my skin so it hurts and is uncomfortable.

Fun Fact #2: the ass shorts were black tights one day that I hated wearing, so I cut them into shorts. Very comfortable when it comes to nude club outfits!! It is also a fair tool when wearing a really short skirt, and it's windy, but you wear ripped stockings and don't want your female organs get too cold [you can have an inflammation!].

I haven't enjoyed the nude clubbing look for a while. Hence the freezing winter I prevented myself from showing to much skin. I remember back in Israel at our beloved DMusic club I wore a similar outfit:

Oh the long lost hair that I had such a pleasure cutting off, hence it was too heavy. I believe I would come back to having long hair one day, I just need to layer it properly.

Interesting to see how my style develops.

I'm not sure about the eyebrows yet, shaving them off every couple of days and drawing them every morning was a headache, but it did look pretty cool after all...

Self whoring much, I shall go to rest, and then prepare for my language exam, and then some more.

Have a wonderful rest of the weekend, and an amazing week!

N. Finsternis

Picture Heavy - Face - Post

Yesterday we went to Pech und Schwevel, our favorite goth pub. We had an amazing time just talking the time through philosophic conversations which I wouldn't have ever had with anyone but Boris our best friend Avichai.
We wanted to go to a dark 80's party afterwards, but unfortunately the place was closed and there was no party at all :( A lot of people who came by were surprised like us.
But none the less we had a great time.
Here are some pictures of yesterday's looks:

This is why I never contour my face. It's contouring itself!

I'm not wearing any makeup except concealer under my eyes + powder.

This mohawk-dragon ball z composition was very fun and fast to make. I'm not a huge fan of backcombing because I hate torturing my hair, and I am always lazy to do it [and frankly I'm not very good at it]. But this time I was very happy of the result. I love this side fringe, I never had something like that, it was also improvised fringe cutting like a month ago.

 This is a shirt I DIY-ied. 

It was a huge black T and I cut the front into lines, then cut the lines in the middle and tied them up.

On the back, I cut lines facing each other leaving a "path" in the middle. I was able to capture this a bit on camera.

It hangs about like some random straps, makes it looks more punk. I wear a see through shirt underneath, but I'm waiting to try it out with a fishnet shirt or only with bra underneath!

And I totally fell in love with this picture.

I always loved my profile, especially my nose. I am glad that sometimes I can get a good picture of my profile, because in my opinion my face doesn't look good when looking at it straight, especially on camera.

I have a few cell phones pics [including this one] that show my face just in the way I want it. These pictures come out very rarely, like they should :)

Face Mumble:

Must I say that having my natural eyebrows back since a couple of months ago was a good decision. I used to hate my eyebrows because I used to think they don't compliment my face, but as a matter of fact- they do!

I'm also glad to come back to a very old trick I used- coloring eyebrows with pencil. This time I did it with black pencil, which is my favorite, but I also do purple and blue sometimes. It is a great trick for those who don't want to shave their eyebrows but still want to add a spice to their face.

In fact, having this very basic eye makeup on pleases me too much. I used to pt makeup on my eyelids, covering them with eyeshadows and eyeliners that only made me look unnatural. Not to mention that with having asian eyes the use of eyeshadow loses its point, because it is never visible! I have fallen eyelids [like asian people have] and most of the time you could only see just a little bit of my upper lid. I am always focusing my makeup on the inner corner of my eye, because that's where I change my eye shape in order to make my eyes bigger than what they actually are.

Hope you are all having a wonderful weekend.

Today our first Summer in Berlin begins!

N. Finsternis